RUSTYFROG IS ALIVE AND WELL

@Rustyfrog It's so good to have you back on here. Love your 'jokes'.

Keep them coming please @Rustyfrog hahahaha

I went to a beekeeper to buy 12 bees.

He counted out the bees and gave me 13.

Being an honest frog I said "Sir, you gave me one too many."

"That's ok, he said "it's a freebie." 🐝

if I was sipping coffee while reading this, I'd have spat it out, that cracked me up! 😂 🤣 [@Happygirl]

I am reminded of the story of three sun readers.

They are stranded on an island and find a rusty lamp. The first rubs the lamp and is granted ONE wish. 'I wish I was back home'. he says. There is a puff of smoke and he disappears.

The second wishes that he was back with all his friends. There is a puff of smoke and he disappears. Unfortunately they had been killed in a freak storm, so he is buried in the local cemetary.

The third man thinks for a moment and says, 'It is really lonely here, I wish those two were back here with me ....'. There is a puff of smoke ....

Priceless!! @Rustyfrog 🤣

An Aussie trucker walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The trucker says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu. A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays. The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, ' Sounds great, I'll have the same.' Again the trucker reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress. 'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.. ' Same for me,' says the emu. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.65.' Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?' 'Well, love' says the trucker, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.' 'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!' 'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.' says the man. Still curious the waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?' The trucker pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say...

The Talibans answer to Elton John

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring at her.

He replies, 'I have a question to ask but I don't want to offend you.'

She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me.. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get to see and hear just about everything.

I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:

1, you have to be single and

2, you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says,

'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would

make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK, I must confess too.

My name is Kevin and I'm going to a fancy dress party.

oh @Rustyfrog you are awful - but I do like you!🤣

My next door neighbour has been out sunbathing topless all morning.

I just wish his wife would do the same!

Great! Had me going for a minute! lol

Brilliant!!

Brilliant, I'm still tittering away at this, the old ones are the best! [@Happygirl]

RUSTYFROG JUST SENT ME THIS............HA HA HA

Hi Lucy,

Sorry I didnt write back earlier, but we had a bit of a tragedy.

Billy our 7 year old budgie, must have fallen off its perch in the night and broken its leg.

It looked really miserable crawling around so I had the choice of putting it out of its misery or try and fix its leg.

I remembered we had a box of matches somewhere in a kitchen drawer.

With one of the matches I made a little splint.

Billy just laid very still on his back and let me fix it us to its leg using a bit of insulation tape.

I put it back in its cage. It just stood there for a while then started to run around.

He looked up at me and his little face lit up.

Then I remembered.

They were Swan Vesta matches and I had forgotten to take the sand paper out of the bottom of Billy's cage.

I'll get my coat!

it was lovely hearing a bit of banter from him again, he is so missed

@nabob @Pinkaholic79 💖🦄🌺 @Janet 💋🍰🍝🍹 @harryflatters @renatew5😺🐶 @duchess @Flossy 🧁🧁 @Flotson @Tanith @margaret.s @roz

Good to know [@Happygirl], hopefully join us again, I will be back more often too.

Thank you @Happygirl I thought of him this week when I was looking through some joke photos in my gallery and came across a few frog ones. Good to know he is well.

Thanks @Happygirl for letting us know that he is OK. Would love to have him back chatting on here.

Send him our love and regards, etc. xxxx

no problem @Happygirl - hope the froggie is managing to cope with it all OK.

I so miss him, he was like SUNSHINE ON A RAINY DAY, and his banter cheered every one up